In Where Matt Unloads About NaNo and Not Writing

So I finished NaNo. This was despite blowing out my hands (I have chronic hand/wrist problems) by week two and running out of steam. I crossed a joyless, difficult 50k that made me question my choice of artistic endeavor. It was the worst of times, it was the worster of times.

But I did finish, and this year saw a pretty impressively high failure rate. I'm frustrated that I was so far from my own goal, but my own goal was obviously well beyond my abilities. But at the same time, I suppose I have to put up with it and be happy that I actually succeeded in writing 50k in a month. That is, of course, no small feat.

So I have a novel that's half finished. And thanksgiving break thankfully allowed me the down time necessary to become physically capable of typing properly again.

One of the major themes of my novel is my main character dealing with the mortality of her father. Which just came as a natural extension of the story, not due to me being particularly enamored by that particular aspect.

On Sunday, either through twisted serendipity or karmic irony, my father had what appears (at this time) to be a mini-stroke. He's mostly okay, it seems, though he sometimes have trouble speaking. I'm not quite sure the extent of the damage yet. We'll find out later this week.

So ... I don't know. It hit rather close to home, and sapped all of my enthusiasm for the project. I'm dealing with similar things in real life, and they're taking up most of my time and energy with concern and trying to coordinate everything. When my creative life and my real life overlap so strongly, I just can't muster the energy to throw myself at the problem at an entertaining way.

So I'm not writing. And right now I have no intentions of writing. Not on my novel, anyway. And maybe not on much of anything. I'm mentally stretched very thin, and by the time I get everything squared away each day all I'm concerned with is sitting there until I get sleepy with a minimum of fuss.

That said, I'll try to focus on the blog. I have two-ish weeks of Movie Roundup to do, a few features I have to write, a short story I promised Sarah for her birthday (which was a few weeks ago) and the one year anniversary of the blog to celebrate (don't get excited, it passed last week without notice).

So we'll see. I'll try, but no promises. Which is the best I can do until everything settles down a bit. Unfortunately, the real victim here is ITMeat, which might end up being shelved for a few months until it doesn't make me more than a little unsettled to even think about it.

First things first, though. Lunch!

Movie Rundown

I've been mostly playing Fallout 3 and NaNo has snuck up on me for the past three days, so my movie watching has been--in a word--dismal. However, I did go to the movies on Friday, and saw a movie! So that's a plus.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno [ **** ] I assume everyone knows the plot of this one. Boy and girl are just friends, but need cash so decide to make a porn film. Wacky hijinks ensue, and they realize they have feelings for one another. Now, you either like Kevin Smith films or hate them. I haven't seen many of them, but I think I fall on the 'like' side. The film hits almost every note of the most generic romantic comedy, but managed through raunch and clever casting to transcend (or epitomise in the best way) its genre trappings. It was funny, it was cute, and it was heartwarming. Also, mad props for giving Craig Robinson (Darryl from The Office) a great chance to shine.

Anyway, I'm balls deep in NaNo at this point, having pounded out 10k over the weekend. You can chart my progress over on the right, though I'm not sure I'll be updating the word count bar more than every week. Twitter will have my daily successes, though.

And now back to writing.

Seven Things Meme

Thanks, Sarah. Thanks a lot. Here I am, going about my business, and I get slapped with a meme. Not just any meme, though, but the annoying "Seven Facts You Rubes Might Not Know About My Awesome Self" meme. I know it's just a general "This Is Me Trying Hard to be Interesting" meme, but I'd rather skew it towards the person who stuck it to me being evil.

But yes, I am now the recipient of this. And I've got to endevour to provide you all with seven interesting bits about my life. Oh joy and rapture. <_< style="font-weight: bold;">Listing 7 Things That Aren't Interesting, But We'll Play Pretend

1. I was raised Lutheran, though you can't tell. For a while, I wanted to go into religion and be a Reverend or whatever they're called these days. While this might seem laughable to anyone who knows me, I don't think it's entirely out of character. And technically, I am an ordained minister. Just not with any denominational sect of Christianity.

2. I can pop my thumbs out of joint. It amazes drunks and grosses out random passers-by! It's my only random body trick, I'm afraid. Aside from that prehensile tongue trick, but that's not something I discuss in mixed company. ;)

3. I have a Mime Jr. on my keychain. Mime Jr. looks like THIS. No, I have no shame. Yes, it's adorable. Though most of the paint's faded off of it now.

4. I'm allergic to cats, but I do love them. Any time I see a cat (affectionate ones, of course) I pet them and then snuggle with them. Yes, my eyes water and get puffy and I start sneezing up a storm, but I never regret it.

5. I not-so-secretly harbor eventual aspirations to hold some sort of public office, but I'm pretty sure that my views would render me immediately ineligible. Though, if I became a working writer, it would be possible work in something like state senator without too much trouble.

6. If I had the physical aptitude for any sort of athletic activity, it would have to be free running.

7. Most of my friends already know this, but I'm terrified of mirrors. And I follow the Horror Rules of Mirrors, including things like Never Look in the Same Mirror Twice, Always Look a Mirror Square in the Face, Never Look at a Swinging Mirror, and Never Look at a Mirror in Changing Light.

7.5 (because I wanna): This is my wallet.


So yeah, there's a bunch of random stuff about me. I'm supposed to tag people, but I love letting these things die. If you read this and haven't done it, feel free to do it. But I'm not going to throw obligations at anyway, since I already had to be guilt tripped into doing this.

And now I bring you--NaNo 2008!

So we're days away from the beginning of NaNoWriMo 2008. If you haven't signed up, do so now! I think anyone would benefit from the exercise, even if you don't succeed. I have another post about NaNo, which you can read HERE and feel free to go ahead and sign up. Trust me, it's awesome.

A few days out, and my idea is mostly ready to go. So I feel compelled to share it now. So, stay with me, and we'll reveal the first bits of my newest novel (and if you talk to me, you probably know all this already)!

The Inevitable Tragedy of Being Meat

Amanda (that's Mandy to her friends and business associates) is a doctor. Though, not the usual sawbones. In fact, it might or might not be true that she never made it all the way through medical school. She's coy on the subject. But it doesn't matter, because she's found a way to make big bucks in the medical field--off the books procedures. Discreet heart surgery for politicians, pulling bullets out of mobsters, and performing the odd back alley abortion or two.

But to her, it's just the family business. Her father was in the same kind of work, the official doctor of the mob back when the mob still had power. But now he's retired and she's taken up the family practice, motoring around the country to wherever she's called to do her work and help heal those who can't help themselves. Noble work, really.

Great on the bank account.

But now she's called back home to Colston City. Her father is dying. One more job, the remnants of the mobs begged. One more job. Yet the shabby remnants of once-proud organizations couldn't keep a lid on things like they used to. One police raid later, and he's holed up in his home suffering massive organ failure from injuries sustained. And while he might be safe in his sanctuary, he's a wanted man in three countries and there's no way he's going to check into a hospital.

Now little Mandy is left to scour the streets of Colston City for the parts her father needs. But the police are determined to find her father and are hot on her trail. The mob is ready to cover the whole thing up with bullets and cement.

And Colston City already has a resident back street doctor--a madman who doesn't take too kindly to Mandy's efforts to strike out into the city with an open door and a quick scalpel. Without options and with dwindling time, Mandy has to find someone who matches her father.

The hippocratic oath might say to Do No Harm, but blood runs thicker than bactine and the clock is ticking.

Excuses, excuses.

I would put up a movie rundown for this week, but I actually didn't ... watch any movies. I can't remember the last time that happened. Oh well. I'm in NaNo mode, and November 1st is days away, so I expect that my netflix movies are going to spoil on my desk before I get to them. Expect a decided lack (because I'm busy) or glut (because I'm a procrastinator or workaholic) coming in the next few weeks.

Movie Rundown - Oct 13 to Oct 20

well, here we are, second installment

• Surf's Up [****] I'm not typically a fan of the generic animal coming of age stories, but this one was pulled out of mediocrity by the conceit that the whole story of the young surfer was told as a documentary. Also, Jeff Bridges being The Dude again. Not to mention some absolutely gorgeous water CG, and all in all it's certainly a solid animated outing.
• The Nomi Song [***] A documentary about the rise and fall of Klaus Nomi, an opera singer and avant garde performer from the late seventies and early 80s. I have to admit, I had never heard of him before I randomly saw the trailer on apple last year, and was enchanted. When I stumbled across the film on netflix, I leapt at it. The film itself is good, but I find it hard to rate documentaries about a person. What can I say? It is what it is. Plusses for PLENTY of footage of him, and his epic performances.
• The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai [*****] Full review can be found HERE.
• No Country for Old Men [****] This was the last Coen Brothers film I had to see, and I had been putting it off because I honestly haven't been much of a fan of their more serious work. Thankfully, some beautiful cinematography and brilliant performances won out over their somewhat ponderous pacing. That said, I absolutely hated the ending. I was almost tempted to give it three stars, but ... four it is.
• District B-13 [***] A French film set in a dystopian 2010, where a section of the city, B-13, is walled off into a war zone run by a gang lord. When he gets his hands on a nuclear weapon, it's up to a cop and a man seeking vengeance to bring the warlord down. It's pretty stereotypical, but the film itself has multiple parkour action sequences. Being a fan of parkour, this was up and down a guilty pleasure.
• When Harry Met Sally [****] I, like everyone else on this planet, knew the story and most of the gags in this film. What surprised me, though, was that I was responding to and laughing at them anyway. The sign of a good comedy is it's funny when you know what's going to happen. This one definitely does that, and provides plenty of issues that we still haven't answered as a culture.
  
• Interview [****] A film by Steve Buscemi, a remake of a Dutch film of the same name. A burnt out political journalist is sent to interview an it-girl actress for a fluff piece after getting on the bad side of his editor. The actress is played by Sienna Miller, who was amazing in Factory Girl. What follows is an incredibly play of words and emotions by the two actors, both of whom deliver pretty intense performances. I won't spoil any of it, but do highly recommend it for anyone who loves character pieces.
• The Orphanage [***] I dunno, maybe it was just too derivative of other works with similar themes, but I found myself not caring too much for this one. I liked it, yes. But it didn't quite fire the imagination on the level I was hoping. That said, the game played towards the end of the game (the red light green light thing) was superb. I was freaking out.
• A Life Without Pain [****] This is a documentary about three children with CIPA, or a born insensitivity to pain. This rather complex illness has a number of very serious results, but it's also incredibly rare. There are only a few dozen cases in the US. Again, like I said, it's difficult to rate a documentary. But I do think this one's worth while, if only to better understand a rather misunderstood part of the human experience--pain.
  
• The Protector [***] A Thai action film starring Tony Jaa. I saw this in crappy dub-o-vision, but the film itself was just kind of goofy. There was some choppy editing, too much CG (unlike Tony Jaa's absolutely breathtaking Ong Bak), and just ... I dunno. A lack of impact. That said, Tony Jaa is always worth watching, as the man is amazing in motion. Not to mention the plot itself was interesting. Plus, a baby elephant.
  
• Max Payne [**] The worst part about this is that somewhere within the soggy carcass of Max Payne is probably a 4-star movie. A nice take of vigilante justice, some nice gun fighting, and some of the best noir cinematography since Sin City (and maybe a bit better, because it's much less flashy). Unfortunately, the first half is a bloated mess, with redundant characters, subplots that go nowhere, a story that takes forever to get going and a villain so obvious that the audience is insulted. When it starts finding its way, it's great. But the first half is abysmal. It would have been nice to see a tighter edit, which would have gotten a much better score.
  

Movie Review - The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai

The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai

My thoughts behind movie reviews are different than typical movie reviews. I'm not going to write a lengthy review about any old thing. I only review things for one reason and one reason only--I want to convince you that whatever it is I'm reviewing is worth your time.

Which is why I have to review this movie, even if I know that 90% of people should probably never see The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai. Not because the movie is bad. Though it is. And not because it's genres and background would turn off most people to begin with. Though they do.

The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai is a Japanese film. A pink film. Pink films, for those not in the know (don't worry, I didn't either) are Japan's equivalent to Cinemax softcore porn. The movies are typically low-budget and based more around titillation than gratuitousness. A large part of that comes from Japan's rules on adult material (can't show the 'working bits') that reemphasizes the storytelling element. Well over a hundred of these pink films are made and released every year, but they're almost unheard of outside of Japan.

I know you're ready to move on now, but please, stay with me. It gets more interesting from here.

So, why tell you about this one? Because this one breaks the mold. Originally conceived as a typical pink film entitled Horny Home Tutor: Teacher's Love Juice, the film played so well that the director was allowed to go back and expand it with an extra half hour of footage.

The result? Insanity. And awesomeness.

The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai is the story of a cheerfully vapid prostitute named Sachiko. While having dinner one night, she witnesses a violent restaurant altercation between a North Korean agent and a Middle Eastern man. In a sudden firefight, she's shot in the head. But not fatally. Instead, the bullet lodges itself in her brain in a way that awakens mental powers she didn't know she had. Genius intelligence, ESP, and some humorous sensory lag.

Oh, and in the scuffle, she picks up a cylinder. The same cylinder that the North Korean killed the Middle Eastern for.

Oblivious to that, she begins to wander the streets, until she stumbles across a book vendor and rips through a tome of metaphysical philosophy. Digesting it in seconds, she finds the professor who wrote the book and begins to debate metaphysics with him. She then gets hired on as the tutor to the professor's sullen teenage son.

At the same time, the North Korean agent begins to pursue her. He needs what's in that tube. The object? The cloned finger of US President George W Bush, which can be used to launch nuclear weapons to anywhere in the world. If North Korea gets it, they'll be able to rule the world.

Oh, and did I mention that Bush's cloned figure is sentient, and also might want to bring about the end of the world?

The film is just one thing after another, insanity and surrealism stacked upon one another. It doesn't help that each setpiece is punctuated by a hilariously perfunctory and terrible softcore sex scene. Don't worry, you won't see anything that you wouldn't see in any R-rated film. And none of it is particularly enthralling.

But as punctuation to the story of philosophy and nuclear proliferation, it's absolutely hilarious. The best scene comes when the finger of George Bush comes alive and decides to violate Sachiko. As she lies on a rooftop, the finger worms its way into her panties (and elsewhere) and an abandoned TV nearby suddenly comes to life as George Bush (a man with a picture of George Bush pasted over his head) begins to spout the rhetoric of the Iraqi war in an entirely new context (e.g. "We don't need the Security Council's permission to invade! We will find them in caves!")

A film this out there is hard to pin down. And it's definately not for everyone. But I'm pretty sure that anyone who would appreciate it would know that they're that person just from my rough summary. It definately transcends the sum of its parts--the goofy philosophical dialogue, the political statements, and the constant sex--to make something that's both hilariously entertaining and surprisingly well-thought-out. From the terribly cliche beginning to the ridiculous Japanese rendition of the Star Spangled Banner that closes the movie, it all works. Inexplicably, subversively.

Like a bullet to the brain.